Hills of The North Just Gives Up On An April Fool’s Story On The Episcopal Church

Check it out; I agree that everything is just so done. Wow, though, this is our church:

# Episcopalians consecrate divorced, sexually active gay man as bishop
# Episcopalians pick squid specialist from tiny diocese to be presiding bishop despite no experience as parish rector
# Episcopal priest is a practicing Muslim
# Episcopalians dress up as clowns to distribute the body and blood of Christ
# Episcopal priest is Druid and pagan
# Episcopal Church presiding bishop’s Easter message unequivocally condemns gas-passing cattle
# Episcopal Church leader says Jesus only one ‘vehicle to the divine’
# Episcopal Church presiding bishop blames America for Sep 11 attacks
# Episcopal Church bishop covers up child sex abuse by brother; blames victim
# Episcopal bishop is twice divorced, thrice married, albeit to a woman
# Episcopal bishop, sadomasochists, and unclad gay men performing sex acts are highlights of this year’s San Francisco gay parade
# Episcopal Church presiding bishop says she’d rather see churches used as pubs than Anglican places of worship
# Episcopal Church leaders claim denomination is thriving, in spite of leading all denominations in rate of decline
# Episcopal Church claims ‘democratic polity’ precludes its following orthodox Christianity; presiding bishop attempts to depose orthodox bishops by less that a majority of bishops entitled to vote
# Episcopal Church bishop denies same-sex blessings are occurring in his diocese, even though he presided at them
# Episcopal Church encourages replacing Good Friday Stations of the Cross with UN Millenium Development Goal ‘stations’
# Episcopal seminaries close, discontinue programs, and sell buildings; church leaders herald moves as positive
# Episcopal gay bishop says he only wants to be country bishop from New Hampshire; commences world book tour to tell his story as gay bishop and protest exclusion from Lambeth

6 Responses to “Hills of The North Just Gives Up On An April Fool’s Story On The Episcopal Church”

  1. 1 Jeffersonian April 2, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Philip Roth once said that he gave up writing fiction because reality was constantly overtaking him. The same is so true that Chris Johnson has codified it into a Law: There is nothing you can say about the Episcopal Church that won’t soon be true. I’d hedge a bit on that to preclude the possibility of orthodoxy at any level above parish.

    What’s your prediction on what +Bruce will do, Brad?

  2. 2 B. J. Kennedy April 2, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    This is a sad obituary for the Episcopal Church.

  3. 3 the snarkster April 2, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    +Bruce has been conspicuous by his silence. I would have thought his belated second thoughts about the New Orleans fiasco would have taught him something.

    the snarkster

  4. 4 Joe Trimble April 4, 2008 at 1:04 am

    Right, BJ, and breathtaking, that the American branch of Anglo-catholicism could go from “ninety-nine and fourty-four one-hundredth percent pure” Christianity to “forty-four and ninety-nine one-hundredth percent pure” Christianity.

    Make that, “christinity” with a very small “c.” And all in one generation — the same generation that remembers the above description of Ivory Soap.

    And congratulations, B.J. on the new website. Truth is: the internet and websites such as this one, yours, and Joe Roberts’ has made it much more difficult for the unbelieving termites to complete their subtle work of dechristianization of The Episcopal Church. They have done it, but it did not escape notice.

  5. 5 B. J. Kennedy April 4, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Thanks Joe. The website isn’t exactly new, but I don’t keep up with it like I should. Perhaps I am getting better about that now.

    This Diocese needs to leave TEC. The Episcopal Church is no place for faithful Anglicans to reside.

  6. 6 Tom (St. Louis) April 5, 2008 at 2:58 am

    The Episcopal Church: Theologically incoherent, administratively chaotic and morally compromised.

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