The Presiding Bishop’s Easter Message

Read it all. I would sum it up, thusly:

Easter is not about eggs and chocolate, it is about eating less hamburger.

So, I have pretty much decided that I am having a hamburger for lunch and steak for supper this Easter Sunday.  What’s everyone else thinking?

16 Responses to “The Presiding Bishop’s Easter Message”


  1. 1 Canon Gregg L. Riley March 12, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Brad

    is the PB a vegetarian?

  2. 2 dl March 12, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    The new works righteousness: What Would Jesus Drive, Eat, Wear and otherwise Consume? Howse’ about a big old pig for Easter!

  3. 3 Christopher Johnson March 12, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    McDonald’s for dinner tonight is sounding awfully good. After all, it’ll be one less cow contributing flatulence to the atmosphere.

  4. 4 LP March 12, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    In celebration of the Presiding Individual of the Episcopal Church’s so-called “Easter Message 2008” (http://www.episcopalchurch.org/79901_95591_ENG_HTM.htm) — and in the spirit of the “Propers for St. Viagra (the Upright)” (http://www.petting-zoo.net/~deadbeef/archive/3794.html) — I bring you the Life and Propers for St. Eromatic, the Flatulant…. patron saint of Greenhouse Gasses and Episcopal Preaching.

    Let my prayer be counted as incense before thee.

    ——

    _Vita Eromatici_

    St. Eromaticus is believed to have been born in the small village of Kopros along the Nile river. As a young man he came under the influence of the elderly St. Anthony, and he converted to the life of monasticism. He stayed among the great man’s disciples for only a very brief time — it appears that it was in this period that he was first given the sobriquet “the Flatulant Postulant” — before he adopted the life of a travelling ascetic. He wandered throughout Asia Minor, living on a strict diet of beans, onions and garlic, and studied (briefly) with many of the major Christian ascetics and teachers of the time in Ennema, Rhoeia, and Pettus. Eventually he settled in Syria, where he founded a loose community of hermits – notable both for its adoption of his unique diet and the unusual practice of meeting for corporate worship only on the Church’s greatest feast days. Toward the end of his life he came to be reveared as a great saint by the local villagers, who would gather (upwind) to hear his preaching… from which sermons, scolars believe, he earned the nickname of “the Breath of God”. His brand of “stoolite” asceticism did not survive his death.

    ——

    PROPERS for the feastday of St. Eromaticus the Flatulant

    ENTRANCE HYMN (PECUSA 1982 hymnal)
    710 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord

    INTROIT (Eccl 1:14,17 – RSV)
    I have seen everything that is done under the sun; and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind… And I applied my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but a striving after wind.

    PSALM (78:39)
    He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again.

    COLLECT
    Almighty God, who didst give man breath, And who hast wiped away the pollution of our sin, Help us remember that our life is but a wind that passeth, And that all worldly glory but a straining after wind. Help us to follow the example of Thy servant, Saint Eromatic, who, even when shunned by his brothers, raised his voice to Thee day and night, So that we, like him, might ever lift our, um, _h_earts up unto Thee, and make a joyful noise to Thy glory, AMEN.

    GRADUAL (Isiah 26:17-8)
    Like a woman with child, who writhes and cries out in her pangs, when she is near her time, so were we because of thee, O LORD; we were with child, we writhed, we have as it were brought forth wind.

    ALLELUIA (Mark 4:39)
    Alleluia
    V. And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
    Alleluia

    TRACT (Lentan alternate. Job 6:26, 15:2)
    Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? Should a wise man answer with windy knowledge, and fill himself with the east wind?

    SERMON HYMN
    545 Lo, what a cloud

    OFFERTORY (Num 22:28; 2 Pet 2:16)
    Then the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she spake…. He was rebuked for his own transgression; a dumb ass spoke with human voice and restrained the prophet’s madness.

    OFFERTORY HYMN
    572 Weary of all trumpeting

    COMMUNION (Job 21:18, 27:21, 30:22)
    They are like straw before the wind, and like chaff that the storm carries away… The east wind lifts him up and he is gone; it sweeps him out of his place…. Thou liftest me up on the wind, thou makest me ride on it, and thou tossest me about in the roar of the storm.

    COMMUNION HYMN
    314 Humbly I adore thee, verity unseen
    424 For the fruits of his creation

    RECESSIONAL HYMN
    590 O Jesus Christ, may grateful hymns be rising
    677 God moves in a mysterious way

    ——

    The following reading may be substituted for the Old Testament lesson, should the Feast of St. Eromatic not fall upon a Sunday or other feast day:

    Ezekiel 4:9,13,15,17 Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt, and put them into a single vessel, and make bread of them. During the number of days that you lie upon your side, three hundred and ninety days, you shall eat it… And the LORD said, “Thus shall the people of Israel eat their bread unclean, among the nations whither I will drive them… See, I will let you have cow’s dung instead of human dung, on which you may prepare your bread… I will do this that they may lack bread and water, and look at one another in dismay, and waste away under their punishment.”

  5. 5 Bill in Ottawa March 12, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    As a lenten discipline I have given up eating meat. It’s not that bad, but I am starting to understand that young monk in St. Alban’s Abbey who wrote a marginal note in the chronicle entry for Lent V about being thoroughly sick of fish.

    In my family, Easter dinner is roasted ham with scalloped potatoes, turnips and coleslaw. Sometimes a tourtiere to go with it. But I think hamburger may also be on the menu Easter day.

  6. 6 Henry March 13, 2008 at 2:20 am

    How so very sad! One would almost feel sorry for her to have NO Easter message to give!

    Bring on those heretics like +Schofield and +Cox….2 of the finest bishops the church has had in many years! They actually have an Easter message to give!

  7. 8 Sam Keyes March 13, 2008 at 5:06 am

    I’m with Bill. One of the exciting things about not eating meat during Lent is that for Easter you go nuts — it’s the same sort of crazy extravagance that led to the old line of the Exultet: “O happy fault! O necessary sin of Adam, which gained for us so great a Redeemer!” Yes yes: I can’t wait for some delicious grilled lamb, some pork, some beef… Leave it to the PB to confuse Easter and Lent.

  8. 9 TWilson March 13, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    I’m going to Fogo di Chao, and pointedly skipping the salad bar.

  9. 10 Canon Gregg L. Riley March 13, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    Brad

    My grand kids are visiting from Nashville and have asked that I cook hamburgers on the grill tonight. Don’t let the PB know. Thanks

  10. 11 Ted McWhorter March 14, 2008 at 2:26 am

    I have tried, but I simply cannot force myself to read an Easter Message by Kate. I have labile hypertension and she would kick my diastolic up 50 points.

    I plan a Fricasse’ des Frisseurs Acadienne for Sunday. (based on pork kidneys, heart, liver and other neat stuff.) I ought to send her a plate. It might distract her from her assault on +Duncan.

  11. 12 Jeff in Ohio March 15, 2008 at 1:30 am

    I’m following a strict lenten fast, so no hamburger tonight. Sundays don’t count, however(The reason for Ash Wed.). Steak dinner, here I come!

    Jeff

  12. 13 Sue April 3, 2008 at 4:07 am

    Amazing, if predicable comments.


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