I’m to aggressive for those who want to engage in subtle negotiations to get what they want, but too nice for the crazies.
That’s where I am in my law practice and my church life.
Hard for my readers to believe, but I am just a bit opinionated and bull headed. My mouth has gotten me in more trouble than I could have imagined in the past. Over the years, I’ve learned to say less, say it less authoritatively, and just wack someone in the butt only when it really counted and where we could achieve this ever elusive “victory” that so many people want but can’t define realistically.
Yet, for certain folks, I’m no where near aggressive enough. I should have left TEC already while really getting in every liberals face when I did it, I should have gone after a poor consumer debtor at a creditors’ meeting when the only witness would be a bureaucrat and I would have only made myself look like an (well, you know) and done nothing to benefit the client, or argued with a witness I was deposing about being evasive to my questions when I just got him to hang himself by admitting six of the twenty allegations in his petition were absolute falsehoods despite his affidavit attached to the petition to contrary.
All I know is that I’ve got to do things the best way I know how while still maintaining my Christianity, which includes treating others as a Christian would treat them. Yet, I lack the judgment of our Lord, who knew when to have mercy on a prostitute and when to chase the money changers out of the temple.
Aggressive but not too aggressive? Aggressive at the right time and the right way?
The one thing I do know about myself. I can’t be aggressive for a cause I do not believe in, personally. I should be able to turn aggressiveness on and off like a switch, but I just can’t do it. What would be even better would be to know the exact right time to throw the aggressiveness switch and when not to. For me, that knowledge of when to throw the switch or not comes from fear and feeling, rather than rationality.
Making partner at the firm, while an extremely important milestone, means nothing compared to what I must master to be the best person I can be, harnessing my skills, my mind, and my heart toward the right direction. More importantly, is learning to find that right direction. I pray the Lord will teach me.