Thanks to everyone for the encouragement

Emails and phone calls today reminded me of the following verse from Isaiah:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Passing thought before the Western LA Deputies Meeting Tomorrow

Likely to be said as I announce my withdrawal as deputy – the liberals have it right. If our relationship is now to be defined by covenant rather than affinity, it is no relationship at all. I make the tiny leap of logic from that that the relationship is long since been dissolved, and will not waste a week and a half of my life debating it on continuing dialogue about the Anglican Covenant which will not be voted on at GC2009.

My 2006 Easter Vigil Meditation

Readings are here.

The Resurrection. The thing this Good Friday Christian loathes the most. I most understand and identify with the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ for my sins. I am so at home with it. It is my own being that realizes that I flung my sins at Jesus as he marched down the dirty streets of Jerusalem, as I shouted at him and cursed his name, a sin for which the Bible portends no redemption. This is not Patton’s theory of divine reincarnation, as reincarnation is antithetical to my faith. Yet, in the Greek sense of “Do this in remembrance of me” as regards the Eucharist, my soul takes me beyond merely sitting at table with Jesus, but to being a member of the vulgar crowd abusing Jesus on his way to Golgatha. Or maybe Peter, who denied Jesus three times, when I have denied him three thousand times, and three million times I just don’t even recognize. Or maybe Judas, who surrendered his own soul and his Lord and Savior for thirty pieces of silver.

I cannot fully comprehend the Resurrection. After the experience of my own life since I found Jesus Christ, I’ve learned to account for miracles, even raising the dead. This barely scratches the surface of the meaning of Christ’s Resurrection.

I cannot fully comprehend the idea that the bearer of my sins, the Lamb of God, can have new life despite the fact that he bore my sins, and even bore everyone else’s at the same time. The idea of being a lamb for sacrifice can be traced to animal husbandry and sheep. If you have an orphan sheep, you can get another sheep to adopt this one as her own if you but kill her own kid and drip the blood of her kid on this orphan sheep. I am that orphan sheep. Jesus gave his life for me. The Lord could not recognize me as his own without this sacrifice. How could Jesus have been resurrected, as my soul had so much sin from which to be purged. How could God know me, recognize me, place a ring on my finger to allow me to transact his business for him, and kill the fatted calf for me, as in the parable of the prodigal Son, but for someone else having to die in my place. My sins are grevious unto me, and the burden of them is intolerable. Satan, the accuser of the brethren, would try to convince me that Jesus sacrifice wasn’t enough to save my sins. Indeed, it is enough. But, to believe that the person who gave this sacrifice for me would yet live despite his sacrifice?

Yet, there is the Resurrection. I’ve often argued to those who blithely claim that whether Jesus’ physical resurrection physically happened or not is irrelevant, and that what is relevant is what effect that idea has on your life, that belief in the physical resurrection is essential for Christian belief, and that anything less is not Christian, yet I sit here and question the resurrection, not for scientific reasons, but spiritual ones.

We should never underestimate what it cost God to redeem us, through his Son, Jesus Christ. However, we will never be able to overestimate the depth of God’s love for us. The simple truth is that it cost God his only Son, all of himself, to redeem us. He would have paid more for us if God had it. Interestingly, He didn’t have any more to give. Yet, there is resurrection.

All of creation pales before this. The number of Abraham’s progeny are nothing in light of this. Leading a nation out of Egypt and having them walk through a sea on dry land is nothing. Promised a Messiah in the words of the Prophet Isaiah and we are given God himself, in human form, who meets every prophetic word ever spoken in Israel, and yet is so much more. Dry bones living – just an analogy to the resurrected spirit of Israel? Hardly, it is my dry bones that live. Dry bones living is the sinner made not just forgiven, but free. Free, with a nagging feeling I have the freedom to make, not the same, but a similar same sacrifice Jesus made for me, for someone else. This sacrifice will be the best thing I’ve ever done. I will live, just as my Savior lives. I just don’t really understand. Words fail. When words fail, for the Anglican, that prayer book thingy comes in quite handy:

“It is truly right and good, always and everywhere, with our whole heart and mind and voice, to praise you, the invisible, almighty and eternal God, and your only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ our Lord; for he is the true Paschal Lamb, who, at the feast of the Passover paid for us the debt of Adam’s sin, and by his blood delivered your faithful people.

This is the night, when you brought our fathers, the children of Israel, out of bondage in Egypt, and led them through the Red Sea on dry land.

This is the night, when all who believe in Christ are delivered from the gloom of sin, and restored to grace and holiness of life.

This is the night, when Christ broke the bonds of death and hell, and rose victorious from the grave.

How wonderful and beyond our knowing, O God, is your mercy and loving kindness to us, that to redeem a slave, you gave a Son.

How holy is this night, when wickedness is put to flight, and sin is washed away. It restores innocence to the fallen, and joy to those who mourn. It casts out pride and hatred, and brings peace and concord.

How blessed is this night, when earth and heaven are joined and man is reconciled to God.”

BCP, Easter Vigil, pp. 286-287.

Ides of March: State of the Church

As a follow up to the previous post, I felt I needed to at least say something about the Church, Anglicanism, and that failing institution, TEC. Frankly, at this point TEC is ecclesiologically analogous to a failed state in political terms. The Presiding Bishop has taken on authority never granted to her under the Constitution or Canons, the General Convention is at a point where folks within the church obey or disobey its edicts at a whim (whether on the left or the right), TEC can no longer interact normally with other churches in Christendom or in Anglicanism, and it is failing economically.

Oh, and as to the latest controversy of the Buddhist bishop of Northern Michigan, I’ve been a party to much discussion, solely listening and not saying anything, about Kevin Thew Forrester.

I just haven’t had much to say.

The reason I don’t have much to say is that when I said the church was going in the wrong direction over an openly homosexual bishop or a twice divorced thrice married bishop, the church didn’t heed the warning. Now we are worried about a buddhist bishop?

If TEC is a city, I hate to inform everyone but TEC isn’t burning anymore. It’s burnt.

Sure, I’m going to show up at Standing Committee and vote no on Forrester. But, it just doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing will happen internationally over this, no higher moral or ecclesiastical authority will be able to do anything about it. The House of Bishops will vote yes, a majority of the standing committees will vote yes, there will be much gnashing of the teeth over this, but nothing will ever happen.

Yes, there will be much debate over whether Forrester is a Christian, what is his take on the Trinity, and so on. For me, friends, the debate is over. I’m done with wishful thinking. If a member of TEC clergy couldn’t find enough to do and embrace within the Christian tradition to deepen his relationship with Jesus Christ that he has to embrace Buddhist practices (and forget even theology for a moment), then he doesn’t know the Jesus I know, who continually challenges me. I’m glad Forrester knows how to sit now. Jesus calls us to pick up our cross and follow him. Don’t recall him saying anything about sitting.

Forty years from now, TEC will likely reclaim being a Christian Church in a huge effort to regain its identity. It will affirm the thirty-nine articles, the Nicene Creed, the authority of the Bible, its relationships with other Christian churches. It will affirm Jesus as Lord and Savior. It will have to hit rock bottom in order to do this. Until then, and until all the garbage is out of the system, it won’t have any clue that anything is wrong. Many folks have said lately the TEC has already hit rock bottom. I say they are wrong; there is still dirt flying from the hole, TEC is still digging. When the shovel shatters on a diamond, then TEC might wake up and realize that something might be wrong.

It took the jewish prodigal son feeding pigs and want to eat what the pigs eat to go back to his Father’s house. Jesus knows us pretty well.

Moreover, TEC will be unable to rebuild until it becomes irrelevant to the political left. Hey, it may be burnt, but it belongs to them. Its gay bishop speaks at the Presidential inauguration, its national cathedral calls on the new President to come to church as if he’s someone new in the neighborhood, well, you get the drift.

Much like the economy, things have to get a whole lot worse before they get better.

The question before me is whether I leave the economic ER to go to General Convention this summer. The covenant will not be considered, according to the PB, and so this will largely be a waste of time. I’m seriously thinking not, but feel a serious obligation to the people of Western Louisiana to do what they asked me to do. I’m praying about it.

Ides of March: State of the Economy

After having received a few emails and even verbal inquiries about my ceasing blogging, I decided to take a spare moment to make a post on the blog on the state of things.

My uniform response to those inquiries has been that I am a business bankruptcy lawyer in this economy. What do you think I have been doing?

Over the last two months, my life has been legally what an ER doc’s life would be medically after an atomic bomb goes off. Yes, the economy is precisely that bad. There has been exactly that much need for my services; I have to triage clients on the first phone contact – has anyone filed suit yet, is there a foreclosure pending, is the tax man at the door, has an involuntary bankruptcy petition been filed? Short of that, let’s set our appointment a week or so from now since it appears you won’t “die” between now and then.

As my regular readers know, I have a flair for the overly dramatic. The only thing I have to back up my story is that generally I have been logging the same amount of billable hours each week that I would normally log in a week and a half. There haven’t been any sprints to get ready for long trials, either – with the exception of a short day trial last Thursday out of town, it has been putting out fires, period.

A lot of people ask me where I think all this is going, economically speaking. They ask when we will come out of this, will things get better or worse, and so on. Frankly, things will get worse before they get better, despite stock market rallies, etc. Even when the garbage is taken out of the banking system, credit will not be as available, banks and other institutions will look a lot harder at both old and new deals. It will take two years or better to get all the garbage out of the economic system and get the assets and people back in service, and another three after that to deal with the aftermath of litigation.

In short, my life for the last two months is going to be this way for the next two years, and then will get a little better for the next three, before things return to normal in my law practice.

I’ve now become a keen watcher of the financial news, and I find the latest proclamations of peace and prosperity by talking heads in the economy by talking heads and our President to be interesting. Reminds me of the movie the Killing Fields when Phenom Penh celebrates the end of the war between the government and the Khmer Rouge, yet one trip over to the hospital where the wounded and dying are tells a different story. And then things really get worse, sort of like the economic pogrom against Capitalism Obama and his administration has in store for us.

God created this world of plenty and famine, of economic boom and bust. They are cycles, they are here to teach us something, about faith, about values, and about ourselves. You can study it in the Bible, you can see it in our history. Moreover, socialism is doomed to failure due to human nature. As long as someone else has something someone else wants or needs, you will end up with either capitalism or violence. Rules and regulations will not make people ethical, much less Christian. People are always trying to find a way around the rules, especially where the rules are unjust and deny freedom. Rules are there for those that have no ethics; too many rules makes everyone unethical and corrupt. We get rid of our Christian moorings as a society, and, well, look what happens – we become corrupt, so we make more rules, and ultimately become more corrupt.

In any event, this will be the first week I am not staring at a calendar for the week wherein I’ll be out of town for two or three days. Hopefully, I’ll get caught up. I find myself praying for those who still have the time to fight the good fight for Christianity in these times. For right now, I am tending to the economically wounded and dying. God made me for these times, and I feel his pleasure in what I am doing, despite being exhausted.

Communion Partners On Cooperation With Common Cause/Anglican Church in North America

Written by: Communion Partners
Monday, January 19th, 2009

On behalf of the Advisory Committee of the Communion Partner Rectors, and on behalf of our Bishops and Primatial colleagues, we wish to acknowledge the remarks recently published from Bishop Iker and Bishop Duncan at the Charleston conference hosted by ‘Mere Anglicanism.’ They speak of wanting the Communion Partners and Common Cause to support one another.

For our part we will continue to pray for solid progress at the level of Covenant Design Committee work and for the Instruments of Communion, especially the Primates Meeting shortly to commence. We cannot know how the efforts associated with Common Cause will turn out, including the idea of building a ‘new province,’ but we note with interest that recent news indicates the Archbishop of Canterbury has suggested ways for this endeavor to move forward in relationship to the Instruments of Communion. Together with ACI, we have been concerned that failure to attend to the integrity of Dioceses which see women’s ordination a matter still in reception, is creating unnecessary stress and strain. We ask that the wider Anglican Communion offer guidance here, as a variegated polity elsewhere appears to be both possible and charitably negotiated.

We do not know how the proposal for a new province will be received nor are we entirely clear what its proponents are proposing; that is probably unavoidable given the hardships all around. We understand that many see the situation as demanding this option. For our part, we accept the promise of those associated with this movement that they will honor our own commitments. Communion Partners will pray for the Common Cause proponents and will assume that promise of cooperation entails a charitable acceptance that another way forward is to be honored and that we can move forward on parallel tracks and not ‘recruit’ from each others’ daily purpose, honoring the jurisdictional integrities of respective bishops. God will be in charge of the next season, as He has always been.

When the Primates meet in February we anticipate that our separate ways of moving forward will be acknowledged and honored. We pledge our prayers for all involved and ask God’s blessing on all of us in a very difficult time. With gratitude for his grace and mercy, again this 2009 Epiphany we remain, yours in Christ, on behalf of Communion Partners,

(The Rt Revd) Bruce MacPherson, Communion Partner Bishops
(The Revd Dr) Russell Levenson, Communion Partner Rectors
(The Revd Canon Professor) Christopher Seitz, Communion Partners and ACI

Down In Louisiana…

We celebrate Epiphany by putting on tuxedos, expensive dresses, cheap plastic beads, and go dancing.

Anyway, a Town Talk reporter took a picture of me and Carrie last night at the Medea ball.

Aggressive But Not Too Aggressive: Confessions of a Lawyer and Churchman

I’m to aggressive for those who want to engage in subtle negotiations to get what they want, but too nice for the crazies.

That’s where I am in my law practice and my church life.

Hard for my readers to believe, but I am just a bit opinionated and bull headed. My mouth has gotten me in more trouble than I could have imagined in the past. Over the years, I’ve learned to say less, say it less authoritatively, and just wack someone in the butt only when it really counted and where we could achieve this ever elusive “victory” that so many people want but can’t define realistically.

Yet, for certain folks, I’m no where near aggressive enough. I should have left TEC already while really getting in every liberals face when I did it, I should have gone after a poor consumer debtor at a creditors’ meeting when the only witness would be a bureaucrat and I would have only made myself look like an (well, you know) and done nothing to benefit the client, or argued with a witness I was deposing about being evasive to my questions when I just got him to hang himself by admitting six of the twenty allegations in his petition were absolute falsehoods despite his affidavit attached to the petition to contrary.

All I know is that I’ve got to do things the best way I know how while still maintaining my Christianity, which includes treating others as a Christian would treat them. Yet, I lack the judgment of our Lord, who knew when to have mercy on a prostitute and when to chase the money changers out of the temple.

Aggressive but not too aggressive? Aggressive at the right time and the right way?

The one thing I do know about myself. I can’t be aggressive for a cause I do not believe in, personally. I should be able to turn aggressiveness on and off like a switch, but I just can’t do it. What would be even better would be to know the exact right time to throw the aggressiveness switch and when not to. For me, that knowledge of when to throw the switch or not comes from fear and feeling, rather than rationality.

Making partner at the firm, while an extremely important milestone, means nothing compared to what I must master to be the best person I can be, harnessing my skills, my mind, and my heart toward the right direction. More importantly, is learning to find that right direction. I pray the Lord will teach me.

A Response To Deb Milner – Why Folks Who Stay In TEC Feel Hurt By Those Who Leave

Deb made an interesting observation here:

We chose to walk apart, but in doing so, we lost many “friends” from the diocese who stayed. People we have known and have been to Cursillo and who worked Kairos with for years, have suddenly given us the “cold shoulder”, who when they speak to us at all, do so in a rather ugly fashion. It is as if some of our old friends believe that because we left, we have somehow caused them harm and they will not longer associate with us on any civil level.

While I certainly wouldn’t justify anyone treating anyone else with a lack civility, the only thing I can say is the churches are families, and when someone leaves a family it hurts the rest of the family, even those who bear no fault for the person leaving. This is a sad dynamic that Deb points out, and I bet it is everywhere, even though it isn’t talked about much in the Anglican blogosphere. One thing that is important to remember is that while the theological differences are stark, at one point we all were one family, as dysfunctional as TEC was and is. We do a great job of working the theological differences, but the emotional side of this can’t be ignored.

What I Did Last Saturday